What does it take to impress someone? Many people would answer with things such as getting them flowers, texting them good morning and goodnight, complimenting them, communicating with them, or opening the door for them. Those are all amazing things, and everyone should do those things for their partner. But the problem is, since when did those things become so unnormalized for partners to do? According to the Medium article by Shafan Salwa, the bare minimum means “little effort one puts into, barely enough to keep the relationship alive with little commitment or enthusiasm”. Many people may be impressed by things that are quite literally the bare minimum. It requires the least amount of effort and thinking for someone to do. I want to reach out to everyone and show you not to settle for someone who does the bare minimum, but someone who goes above and beyond for you, because they want to and you deserve it.
Doing the bare minimum is just meeting the requirements, not going above it. It’s not impressive. It’s the baseline for how you should be treated. Personally, I once felt impressed by a guy because he texted me first. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great feeling and you should still get a feeling of joy from it, but it shouldn’t be the main reason why you are impressed by this person. Because it’s something that should happen if this person likes you. If someone wanted to talk to you, they would. If someone wanted to text you, they would. Receiving a text like good morning, good night, an apology if you were upset, a text about why they haven’t responded for hours, asking how your day was, or a text saying how much they admire you are things that you should be receiving. Don’t ever settle for someone who never does these things or someone who only does these things sometimes. Don’t question how much you are worth because there will always be someone who will exceed your expectations, even if it feels like there isn’t.
Some may argue and say that you should be grateful anyway, or “at least they’re not cheating”. But why should we feel the need to be grateful for someone who’s doing the very least they can for us? They aren’t grand acts of service, just simple actions that should already be taken without a doubt. Not being “grateful” is not being entitled. It’s knowing your worth and how you should be treated. Alexa Malonzo says, “Society has taught me to shrink my expectations and standards, and shrink them down to the lowest level. And to accept the very little someone is doing for me”. The bare minimum covered up as effort makes us rethink what we deserve. And you should never doubt your self-worth.
The reason why so many people might be impressed with the baseline actions like the ones I mentioned is that they may not have experienced anything like it, which is why their expectations are low. In past partners or relationships, we may have experienced someone giving nothing at all, which can make us think that these bare minimum standards are high expectations that require lots of effort. But don’t accept crumbs of attention, crumbs of love, accept the love that you know you deserve.
There is so much more to life than a relationship, a partner, an ex, a “talking stage” or “situationship”. How someone treats you or views you is not a reflection of your worth. Do things that make you feel happy, choose people that value you, and make decisions that prioritize yourself, because you can go above and beyond the bare minimum for yourself.
